Happiest Children Worldwide

Previously Bhutan, probably the only country to monitor GNH “Gross National Happiness”, was considered to have one of the happiest populations on the planet.

Whilst not a particularly rich country economically, it is a very beautiful and peaceful country. If you visit there, you find that even the dogs who may be resting in the village square, perhaps 20 to 30 of them, do not appear to fight amongst themselves.

However more recently the World’s 20 Happiest Countries in 2021 ranked by Forbes as follows :

Dutch Children

So why do the Netherlands ranked so highly ?

Their education, material well-being and behaviours and risks were the best in the world. Their happiness is mostly attributed to a non-competitive, low-stress school culture and a good work-life balance for parents, among other reasons.

Support Starts with Prenatal Care

Nearly a quarter of Dutch women give birth at home under the supervision of a midwife, who also provides prenatal care and advice for pregnant women.

After giving birth, either at home or in a hospital, women are entitled to maternity care. Available to all women through their healthcare system, a qualified maternity nurse helps new mothers to care for their newborns with care, advice, health checks, even assisting with household chores like laundry and making meals for other children.

Playing instead of doing homework

There seem to be endless amounts of children’s playgrounds, petting zoos, and kid-zones in stores not to mention the variety of outdoor activities from bicycles, tricycles, rollerblades, and soccer balls to rafts, sleds, and ice-skates that seem to be commonplace in Dutch childhoods.

Although mandatory schooling starts at the age of five, over 95% of Dutch four-year-olds attend early childhood education, and 63% of two-and-a-half to three-year-old children attend some sort of playgroup. Through play, children learn how to react in situations, confrontations, and social settings. From the commonness of children’s playgroups to little amounts of homework, and dedicated children’s play zones, Dutch children are encouraged to spend time happily playing and socialising.

Dutch childhood consists of lots of freedom and plenty of play. In fact, Dutch parents believe play is more important for kids than quiet obedience.

Dutch kids seem to spend their entire lives on their bikes, they go outside in all types of weather, and they play outside unsupervised a lot. Dutch parents believe all of this helps their kids develop character, grit, and independence not to mention the physical benefits of exercise.

All-weather biking is truly a character-forming experience. Children are encouraged to bike everywhere and in all weathers because it teaches them grit. They learn that life isn’t always sunny and full of rainbows. They learn to face the rain. They learn not to give up.

This teaches children resilience, and there is a definite link between resilience and happiness.

The Three R’s

After hours of playing, the Dutch have a mantra of rust, regelmaat, and reinheid, which translates to rest, regularity, and cleanliness. By adhering to the three R’s

Dutch parents create an environment of stability for children. Children need plenty of sleep, the structure of routine, and to keep clean to avoid harmful germs and diseases.

Dutch parents believe children stay calm and relaxed when they are in a routine.

Dutch babies are kept on a schedule with specific feeding and sleeping times, ensuring they get plenty of sleep and enough food. Even as kids get older, they often eat dinner at the same time every night and keep a consistent bedtime.

According to a study, Dutch infants’ relatively calm demeanour was due in part to a more regulated sleep schedule and lower intensity activities. Dutch parents focus on daily activities at home, placing value on the importance of rest and regularity. Parents are uncompromising about the sanctity of sleep. Well-rested babies allow for well-rested parents. Research has indicated that the Dutch, on average, get more sleep than any anyone else in the world: A total of eight hours and 12 minutes each night.

The Family Unit

The Dutch highly value eating meals together as a family. This means that the whole family sits to eat at the same time and gets up from the meal at the same time.

Before any meal, the family doesn’t start eating until everyone, children included, is at the table. It’s a sign of respect. Every person counts.

Dutch parents believe they need to set a good example so their children will copy that behavior. And when they do tell their kids to do something, they say it firmly (“I want you to…”) instead of simply asking.

Good behavior is reinforced with praise and unacceptable behavior is stopped immediately.

Good manners are taught to Dutch kids from a very early age. “Please” and “Thank You” are very important.

Dutch parents believe independence and autonomy make kids happy. This independence also lightens the load on parents.

Dutch parents do not believe it is their job to constantly entertain their kids. They aim to strike that perfect balance of letting their kids play where they want and respect their autonomy, while also remaining responsive and involved when needed. Importantly, they let their children be themselves instead of forcing things upon them.

The norm in the Netherlands is simplicity — simple, low-cost activities, and a down-to-earth approach. Thriftiness can be felt in every aspect of Dutch culture and social policy. The Dutch choose time over money, and practicality over luxury. This teaches their children to appreciate what they have instead of always wanting more.

With 29-hour work weeks, the Netherlands has the world’s shortest week for business professionals. Nearly half of the Dutch adult population works part-time, with 27% of men working less than the maximum 36 hours a week and 75% of women working part-time.

Like their female counterparts, most Dutch dads squeeze their full-time work hours into just four days. It allows them to dedicate at least one day per week to spend time with their family.

Everyone in the family, including the youngest, has a say. Negotiation-based parenting isn’t for the faint of heart. It can be exhausting, and your patience will be tested. However by allowing your child to negotiate, he is taught how to set his own boundaries.

Education

Education in the Netherlands is seen as the route to a child’s well-being and personal development, not as a path to success or achievement. In this sense, Dutch parents and teachers aim to minimize academic stress, leading to a better overall school experience.

They believe the best progress is made when it is child-led, not parent-pushed. Dutch parents are less likely to be concerned with their child’s doing well in school and far more with their overall happiness and well-being.

There are two kinds of Dutch higher education qualifications: Research-oriented degrees offered by universities and profession-orientated degrees offered by colleges. You don’t need any specific grades to gain admission to most programs — all you need is to pass your high school exams.

Dutch schools invest more energy in motivation than in achievement. Research has shown that social skills are instrumental to happiness. They are much more important than a person’s IQ.

Government Support for Dutch Kids and Families

The Dutch government devotes significant policy attention to children and families, trying to reconcile demands of work-life and family responsibility. These include policies like paid maternal leave, paid paternal leave, leave if one’s child is sick, and child benefit packages.

The Dutch government also encourages the Child-Friendly Cities Network where cities compete with local initiatives to promote the rights and interests of children, like reserving 3% of residential land for children’s playgrounds, sandboxes, etc. The government also frequently engages with the National Youth Council, made up of over 30 children’s organizations that speak for children and stimulate youth participation in the making of local policy and planning.

Sex Education

The Dutch are widely known for their tolerance about sexuality. The Dutch approach is one of openness, practicality, and liberalism. An openness that sexuality is a part of life, practicality that people will do it so it ought to be in a safe, well-informed environment, and liberalism that people have the right to do what they want in their bedrooms. Children receive subsidised comprehensive sex education teaching children about love, sex, and relationships.

Because the Dutch have access to contraception if they want to have safe sex, and have an open dialogue about sex, the Netherlands has some of the lowest rates of teen pregnancy, abortion, and STDs.

Dutch parents may allow a teenager’s boyfriend or girlfriend to sleepover and ensure they have access to birth control.

In comparison, the US not only has a famously high teen pregnancy rate, but nearly half of pregnancies in the US are unintended or unplanned, which can have highly negative effects for both the baby and the mother, who may not be ready for parenthood.

Work-Life Balance

The Dutch work on average 29 hours per week — the shortest working hours of any developed country. They believe that physical and mental health are more important than work. All of this means that Dutch parents are more available for their children, and in better spirits when spending time with them.

With such great work-life balance, both parents are able to share the parenting responsibilities. Dutch dads are known to dedicate at least one day a week to spend time with their kids. And often the childcare structure will include both parents working part-time, plus additional help from both sets of grandparents, as well as neighbours and babysitters.

Taking vacations is an integral part of life for the Dutch. Three vacations per year is standard for a middle class family, often for 3–4 weeks at a time. In between these holidays, they still manage to get away for long weekends. But these trips aren’t necessarily luxurious. Camping is the vacation of choice for the Dutch — primarily because it is an economical way to travel that lets kids roam freely in a comfortable setting.

We know that not all of the above will be applicable to cultures throughout the world. But now you hopefully have a better understanding about why UNICEF chose the Netherlands as the country with the happiest children and perhaps you would like to incorporate some of these ideas into your unique parent-child relationship.